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Sent By: Bee-Kaleh  There was this Rashtee and his son who owned a store in Rasht. One day, the store catches fire and unfortunately, the father burns also. So the son puts a note on the store's door reading "bexa'tereh PEDARSUXTEGEE maqa'zeh yek hafteh basteh miba'wad." Sent By: Sugardaddy The turk is at the top of a building and it is on fire and he starts yelling. The iranian at the bottom looks up and puts his cup of tea down and says "Jump into this cup" the turk replies "Do you think I'm stupid, you'll pull the cup away" Sent By: Mahboob S. Once a Mollah looks out, and his son is in the yard, dipping his pants in the /houz/. He asks: what are you doing? The son says: I want my pants to shrink, so that they become tight, it's very fashionable these days. The Mollah says: so if you dip it in water it becomes tight? His son says yes. So the son finishes off his job and goes out. When he returns, he see that his father is in the yard, dipping his mother in the /houz/ Sent By: majnoon Once there are three guys in psychiatric hospital: a Qazvini, a rashti, and a Tehrani. Every morning the head doctor asks each of them: who are you? the Qazvini says: I'm the king of Qazvin! Rashti says: I'm the king of Rasht, and Tehrani says: I'm the king of Tehran! Then they are returned to their individual cells. Once the hospital was short of space, so these three veteran inmates were put in the same cell. The day after that, the head doctor again asks each of them: Who are you? The Tehrani says: I'm the king of Tehran. Qazvini says:I'm the king of Qazvin. Rashti says: I was the king of Rasht until yesterday. Since then I'm the queen of Qazvin. Sent By: majnoon Once a turk marries a girl. It's the second night after the marriage, and then there is a sound of a gun shot from the bedroom of the newly-weds. People go there and ask: what happened? Turk says: I killed my wife. They say: WHy? he says: because she wasn't a virgin. They say: then why didn't you tell us this last night? He says: because then, she was! Sent By: majnoon A turk was asked to make a sentence with "kesha-varz". He said " kos kesha varzesh konid" Sent By: george One day in a kindergarten, the teacher asks the kids":What shouldn't we put in our mouth?" One kid says a knife, the other says a bomb, Ali says":A turned on lamp." The teacher is surprised": Why a turned on lamp?"she asked. Ali answered:"Last night I was passing by my parents bedroom and I heared my father telling my mom":Turn off the lamp; Mixa'm beza'ram dahanet." Sent By: KosKesh Top Ten reasons that you know somebody is Iranian 10) Insists that he/she is Persian, not Iranian 9) Engineer, looks dark, but too light to be an Indian 8) Never drives an American car 7) Claims all civilization and major inventions are linked to Iran or an Iranian 6) You wonder why this Italian guy likes rice more than pasta 5) Keeps vodka in the freezer 4) Tells you that his/her father rubbed elbows with the Shah 3) Believes all major world events are caused by conspiracies behind which stand England and the US 2) Burp emits nostalgic scents of "Caspian" 1) Cannot speak 2 sentences in Farsi without using English words Sent By: Farshad Q : what do rashtie's call a teaspoon ? A : qertea ! Sent By: toufan Three persian boys go out side a Hamoom Zanooneh to look inside from a hole that they had discovered. One of the kids goes on the wall and starts looking and telling his friends what's happening inside he say: "Take out your dicks. Ready. Start." He sarts looking at fine lady and say to his friends. " oh what nice legs. Keep on jerking" " oh what nice ass, keep on jerking," "oh what nice breasts , keep on keep on jerking" and than all the sudden he stoppes and says " Stop jerking you perverts it my Mother." Sent By: Iman what do rashties call a military doctor? A: Hakim Neza'mi Sent By: boobooli One day rashti comes to Tehran, and the tehrani prepares a big dinner. After the dinner he askes the rashti, "It is a tradition for us tehranies, when we have a guest, our guest has to sleep with our wife." Rashtie was embaressed, but he finally slept with "tehranie's wife." When the Tehranie went to Rasht, Rashtie tought it would be very rude if he wouldn't accept it, so he let Tehranie go to bed with his wife. One day when they had a fight, the tehranie says, "To fekr kardi ke ba' zane man xa'bidi? badbaxt a'n zanam nabud, a'n ye zane harze bud Rashtie gets mad and replies: "man as to zerangtaram, a'n ke to ba'ha'w xa'bidi, un ham zane man nabud, un a'bjim bud. SENT BY: UNKNOWN One day a Rashtee goes home early a see Ali agha -from the Baghalee_ is naked with his wife on the bed. He says" Ali a'qa' pa'wo-pa'wo ada'ye mano dar naya'r." SENT BY: Hamid what do RASHTIE'S CALL: GERMANEY : NAZI ABAD TV : NATEGH-a-NOURY eraser : malesh bar danesh baby fish : MA,HE,CHEH BABY MOUSE: MOUSHAK BABY CAT : NIM,CAT MOSQUE : AFGHANESTAN SENT BY: hamid .d What do rashtis call the next door neighbor's bed? ans : Ma'zandara'n SENT BY: pepe One day a rashti was flirting with his wife.He touched her breasts and said "if they were a little bid bigger I wouldn't need too look for them " then he touched her belly and said" if this was a little smaller i wouldn't need to lift it up to see your pussy" . The wife that was really offended touched his penis and said " if it was a little bid bigger i wouldn't need your cousine Ahmad!!" SENT BY: lak lak Once upon a time a Shirazi, a Ghazvini and a Rashti were chatting about women. Shirazi guy says: Woman is like a flower. You look at it, you smell it and you water it. Ghazvini guy says: Woman is like a record player. You play one side, then you turn it and play the other. Rashti guy says: Woman is like a newspaper. You read it, and then you pass it to your neighbour to read it. SENT BY: ATab A rashti, marries an Armanien lady,..... when having sex, the Armanien lady says: "Gamas-Gamas" ... the rashti, says: "kam hast ke hast... Hamin hast ke hast...." !!!??? (Gamas-Gamas, in armanien means, slowly....) SENT BY: Bahram My friend who just had come from Iran with almost no English luckily due to his good looks found a little hotty girlfriend. Once she was at his house and his mom had cooked ash for them. she really liked the "a'w" and asked for the ingredients. Here is his description of ingredients as he directly translated Persian stuff into English My dear, herrrre arrrrrre vhat my moder puttt in this Persian soup: yellow wood (zar cube) Indian stamp ( tamr e hendi) wet blood (tar xun) wet-e (tarre) my loving wind (ba'demjun) flower of a cow's tongue (gol ga'v zabun) later their relationship was going down the tube he said to her look I very very love you, let me eat your liver, but over that donkey (ba'la' xare) my eyes dont drink any water. light my homework (taklif e man ra' rowan kon!). SENT BY: kambiz Why is it that British army never captured northern part of Iran? Because, They had to go thru Ghazvin. SENT BY: UNKNOWN a tourist is passing through qazvin and he looks around and sees all these men on the roof of their houses with their pants down and lying on their back. so the guy asks one of them: why are u all naked on your roofs? and the qazvini says: we heard that iraq is going to send some parachutist to qazvin!! SENT BY: lak lak THIS LETTER WAS WRITTEN BY AN EMPLOYEE OF THE NIOC ( NATIONAL IRANIAN OIL COMPANY). Dear Mr. Churchill, I, the undersigned, have worked in the NIOC in Masjid-Suleiman for three years. But since Mr. Ahmadi transferred here everything has changed. I don't know what " wet wood I have sold him ", that from the very first day he has been " pulling the belt to my life ". With all kinds of "cat dancing " he has tried to become the " eye and the light " of Mr.Wilson. He made so much " mouse running ", that finally Mr. Wilson "became donkey ", and appointed Mr. Ahmadi as his right hand man, and told me to work" under his hand ". Mr. Wilson promised that next year he would make me his right hand man, but " my eye did not drink water ", and I knew that all these are " hat play ", and he was trying to put a " hat on my head ". I " put the seal of silence to my lips " and did not say anything. Since I am " thick skinned ", I " did not go from face ". Also I felt that Mr. Ahmadi was " head of donkey ", and " has become hair of nose " to me.So one day I " hit the heart to the sea " and went to see Mr. Wilson. As soon as I entered his office, he looked at me from " head to foot " and asked ' what do you want '?....... I said, ' nothing sir ', I have " crossed Rostam's seven khan " in order to come and see you, and let you know that I am not happy working under Mr.Ahmadi, and if you'd be kind enough and give me another job ! Mr. Wilson said, ' ok, go and work in the mail house '....... " Now bring the donkey and load the lima beans "....... " where me, and where mail house "?....... " what shit I ate "?....... " I came to do savob, I made kabob "......." I went to repair the eyebrow, I made the eye blind "!....... " with my own hands my sister was ?????? "....... I told Mr. Wilson that " our donkey did not have a tail from colt hood ". Mr. Wilson said, ' you have asked and you have received, besides, we need a " work killed " employee like you in the mail house '. But because of " eating so much snakes I have become a dragon ", and I knew he was " putting watermelons under my arms ". Knowing that this transfer was only " good for his aunt ", I started to begging him to forget that I have ever came to see him and forget my visit altogether. " You saw camel, you did not see camel "....... But he was not " getting off the devil's donkey "....... " what headache shall I give you "?....... " He broke my bowls and pitchers ", and now I am forced to go and work in the mail house with bunch of " blind and bald, height and half height " people....... Imagine " how much my ass burns "!....... Now Mr. Churchill junam, " I turn around the head of your children "....... You are my only hope and my " back and shelter "....... " I swear you to the 14 innocents ", please " do some work for me "....... " in the resurrection day I'll grasp your skirt "....... " I have six head bread eater "....... " God be on your back and shelter ".I kiss your hands and legs, regards, Asghar Badbakht Take care and have a nice day. SENT BY: Farshad This is a letter from Mr. Ahmad Pasley, an Iranian national who has recently come to the US and lives and works in L.A. A LETTER FROM AHMAD PASLEY To the director of the Work-Choosing department Dear Sir, I, the undersigned, have worked in the CDO department in Los Angeles for three years. But since Mr. Thousand was transferred there everything changed. I don't know what a wet-wood I have sold him that from the beginning he bound the belt to torment me . With all kinds of cat-dancing he tried to become the eye-light of ;Mr. Wilson. He made so much mouse-running that finally Mr. Wilson became donkey and appointed him as his hand-friend, telling me to work under his hand. He promissed that next year I would become his hand-friend, but from the beginning my eyes did not drink water and I knew that all these are hat-plays and they wanted to put a hat on my head. As I am thick-skinned, I did not go from face. I put the seal of silence to my lips and did not say anything. Nevertheless I felt that I was head of donkey and hair-of-nose to Mr. Thousand. One day I hit the heart to the sea and went to see Mr. Wilson. till I came in he looked at me from head to foot and asked "what do you want?" I said "nothing Mister, I have come from Haft-Gel. My heart is not happy in foreign land, neither have I face in my hometown. Mr. Wilson said "OK go and work in the mail-office." Now bring a donkey and load lima bean, where me where mail-office? I said "Mister, our donkey did not have a tail from colthood" Mr. Wilson said " you have asked and you will get it, besides in the mail-office we need a work-killed employee like you." But because of eating snakes I have becom a dragon, I knew that he was putting watermelons under my arms. I had put, with my own hands, my feet in a nut-shell. Knowing that this transfer was good only for his auntie, I begged him to forget my visit altogether. "You saw camel, you did not see camel" I said. But he was unbending and said his chicken has one leg. He denied that Mr. Thousand had anything to do with all this, but I knew better: one can not ride a camel bending-bending. What headache shall I give you? They broke my bowls and pitchers and I, by force, added my hands and feet; and with six blind and bald, heights and half heights came here. Imagine how my ass burns! Now turn me round the head of your children. You are my only hope and back and shelter. I swear you to the 14-innocents, please do some work for me. In resurrection-day I'll grasp your skirt. I have six-head bread-eaters. Their prayers will be enough for you. cuse my long-guttedness. Your true purifier, Ahmad Parsely. SENT BY: Farshad Q: What do rashti's call an elivator ? A: "Taksi divari" ----------------------------- Q: What do rashti's call a simeh zarfwuy ? A: Pawmeh kuneh adam ahani SENT BY: N&B Once they asked a Rashti woman that "after sex, do you talk to your housband? She says: if I get free time, I call him. SENT BY: ATab One day a Persian guy walks in a restaurant and orders a meal, then the cashier asks him: "TO GO?" he say: "na, la'ye nun!" SENT BY: Ehsan from Vancouver, B.C. what do the Japanese call the seats in the cinema? tapawitawe and what do they call qazvin? tatawituwe SENT BY: maryam A Rashti comes home and says to his wife: "lets go to my sisters house" His wife says "I have nothing to wear" and he goess to the closet and says blue dress, purple dress, yellow dress Hassan A'qa'. The same thing happens tomorrow and he goes to the closet he says blue dress yellow dress green dress and then he says have you taken Hassan A'qa' to dry cleaning SENT BY: KATHY Tehrani and Qazvinin were walking through the forest. Qazvini suggest that they have sex, Tehrani refuses. Qazvini says "no one would know and if you want you go first". Tehrani agrees, Qazvini bends down and lets Tehrani have a go. After a while Qazvini gets excited and starts shouting "more, more, push it all the way, rip my arese", Tehrani pulls his dick out and says "that's enough, I am going". Qazvini asks "why?, what happened?, why are you going?. Tehrani says "fucking hell, if this is what you do to your own arse, then I hate to think what you will do to mine!!". SENT BY: OOSTA 3 men english, american and iranian see a car with a couple, who have just been maried. The engilsh man says: In my country not only he and she,b ut also he and he. The american says: in my county not only he and she , and he and he, but also she and she. The iranian says: in my country not only he and she, and he and he, and she and she, but also me and me. SENT BY: Siamak What you call a turk, who has been going to gym and been working out? Asb ( horse). One day, there is a narrow bridge and a turk at one end, and a fars at the other end. And both are trying to cross it at the same time. Fars guy says, "ey ba'ba', ajab a'dami hasti, ba'ba' to". Turk guy says with anger, "Xodet, ajab a'dami hasti." SENT BY: Hamid One day a rashti comes home early and expecting top find his wife in another mans arm but only finds his wife naked in bed, the sheets are all over the place, her hair is all messed up but there is no man. He was so surprised at this that he drops his glasses on the floor. As he picks up his glasses, he notices a man hiding under the bed naked. He gets up and asks his wife "Zan in merd zireh taxt ceka'r mikoneh" His wife responds " Zireh taxt nemidunam, vali tuyeh taxt qoqa' mikonah" SENT BY: tear There was this old virgin lady that never had sex in her life before. She had tried so much to find herself a man but all of her efforts were useless. She had read somewhere that if you die and go to hevean, you get everything that you want so she decides to commit suicide. One night she goes on the roof and jumps down, there was an eggplant truck passing under her house and she falls in it. after she lands in there, she touches the eggplants and says:a'qa'ya'n, agale nakonid, dune be dune, be hame mirese! SENT BY: mahi One day this guys from Bandar Aba's goes to America to visit his friend. they go to the pool and the life guard asks the Iranian: "do you know how to swim?" The Iranian did not understand so his friend said: "Barok, da're miporse wena' baladi?" Barok says:"man??man?? maalume man wena' baladam! man baceye sa'helam!" So the friend tells the lifeguard "My friend says YES, hes a son of a beech!" SENT BY: Farshad what rashtis call elephant? "kir tu dahan" SENT BY: bolbol So they ask the rashti woman, "Do you speak with your husband when you have sex?" She thinks for a moment, shrugs, and says "sure, if there's a phone nearby." SENT BY: BABR The little Indian (Native American) boy asked his father: Dad, what is the story behind my brothers and sisters' names? His father answered: when your brother was born, I saw a little bear, so we decided to call him Little Bear. When your sister was born, I saw an eagle, so we decided to call her White Eagle. When you younger brother was born, I saw a wolf, so we decided to call him Restless Wolf. The boy asked: and what is the story behind my name, Dad? His father replied: You'll find out when you grow up, Kaputt Pa're. Jimmy Q: What do Rashti's call a bus designated for women? A: Kos Kesh!!!!! Kos Khol Q: What do turks do when they get lost? A: they immidiatly page themselves 911. Ghazanfar The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Ali, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Ali walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Ali had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period" reported Ali. "Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period." "Damned if I know" said Ali, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself." Farid A guy from QAZVIN calls his friend and says Ali come to our house tomorrow. Ali says What is up? The guy says I have a party(Bezan, Beraqs, Boxor va Bokon) Ali Asks, Who are invited? the guy says you and me! Henry Q: Why do persians fart befor they go to the the bathroom. A: To get the hair out of the way. Pooya An American plane is flying somewhere over middle east when the left engine dies. The pilot radios for help; "hello, anyone out there? Can anyone hear me?'" An Iranian air traffic officer picks up and responds "Yes, Ve are here" The Pilot asks "Do you speak English?" The Iranian answers "Yes, Ve espeak ingilish. Vat's wrong?'" The pilot explains the problem with the left engine. The Iranian responds "Do not Vorry. Left engine dead use right engine to fely" The pilot uses the right engine and continues the flight. After a while the right engine dies. The pilot radios for help "hey, are you still there? the right engine is dead too. What should I do now?" The Iranian responds "Yes, Ve are here. Left engine dead? Right engine dead? Do not Vorry. Repeat after me. Ashhado-an la elaha ellal-lah ...." Farnoosh This Iranian guy dies and is sent to hell. The devil apporaches him and tells him that today is a special day in hell so he gets to pick his punishment. So the devil takes the man in front of two closed doors. Devil opens the first door and tells the Iranina that this is an American hell room. Twice a day, everyone has a stick of hot Tar stuck up their ass. Then he opens the other door and tells the man that this is an Iranina hell room and three times a day everyone is stuck by a four by four covered with hot Tar. Then he turns to the man and asks him to make up his mind. The Iranina thinks for a second and chooses the American room. In a flash he finds himself in the American hell room. >From that point on he constantly hears people moaning and screaming of pain. And he also receives the Tar as promeised. After a month he notices that he never hears any screaming or moaning from the Iranian side so, he decides to investigate. He approaches the wall seperating the two areas and climbs over. He finds the place quite and almost lifeless. Suddenly he sees a man passing by, he stops the man and asks him why isn't anyone screaming and how come he does not see anyone get punished. The man looks at him and says " ba'ba'jun, inja' ira'neh, yeh ruz cub nist, yeh ruz qir nist, yeh ruz aslan ya'ruh mardika nemia'd" A.S. A guy from Tehran was coming back from Rasht. He stopped for a meal in Qazvin in a Qahveh Xa'neh. While waiting for his meal he was approached by this well mannered guy from Qazvin who insisted on inviting him for a meal. At last the Tehrani guy cancelled his order and went to the Qazvini's for a meal. The Qazvini brought a lot of food and a bottle of aragh. They ate and chatted for long and then went to sleep and in the morning said goodbye and went their separate ways. When the Tehrani guy got to Tehran his friend asked him if he had a good trip. He said it was wonderful and told him about the guy in Ghazvin. At the end he said "you know Hassan usually when I get drunk my head hurts in the morning but this time I dont know why my bum hurts instead" Soheil (NYC) There are 3 guys talking about their sex life. One is Irish, the other is American, and the last one is Persian. They ask the American guy: "what does your lover say when you are fucking her?" He replies by saying:"Ooh baby, yes baby, do it hard." Then they ask the same question from the Irish guy. He replied: (in an Irish accent)"fuck me harder. fuck me harder." Then the same question is asked from the Persian guy. He looks left and right to make sure there are no Persians around and replies: "BOKON, BOKON. BE KASEE NAGOO!" Kaiser Q:HOW DOES A PERSIAN LOSE 10 LBS.? A:THEY SHAVE THEIR BACK. SHAHRAM a turkish runner from tabriz goes to the olmpics representing iran.when he gets ready to run,he glances over his shoulder and sees a zebra is his foe.he confidently looks over and and says to the zebra"just because you are wearing a uniform you are going to win". parviz One evening a Rashtee comes home early from work and sees his wife in bed wearing a beautiful night gown. He immediately is outraged and yells "Where is *he*, where is he hiding?" He looks under the bed, but doesn't find anyone. Then he quickly looks out the window and sees a guy walking away on the sidewalk. He angrily, picks up the huge dresser and throws it out the window on top of the guy. Then, he clutches his chest and dies of a heart-attack. At heaven's gate, God approaches three men who are standing side by side, and says, "What happened? how did you get here?" The first guy says, "I was just walking on the sidewalk, minding my own business, and now I'm here." The second guys says, "I caught my wife cheating on me, so I threw the dresser out the window at the guy outside, and then I had a heart-attack, and here I am." The third guys says, "I don't know what happened, I was just hiding in the dresser." SiaSiaa so Jacob and Sara (very old Jewish couple) are in bed doing it, when suddenly they discover that Agha Yaghoub is stuck. Try as he might, he can't pull it out. So they panic, and decide that they must call an ambulance. With great difficulty, he reaches the bedside phone and calls the hospital. We'll be there in three minutes, sir, but it's going to cost you three hundred dollars. WHAT? says agha yaghoub, and hangs up angrily. Several calls to various other hospitals, and he can't find anything cheaper. Finally he turns back to Sara Khanoum and says, see, if you had let me do it from behind like I wanted to, we could have walked to the hospital by now. UNKNOWN Five graduates do back to Iran to get jobs. They go to one of the ministries where they ha interviews. First one gets called in and the questions start; Q.Who killed 'Hazrate Ali' A. I don't know Q. Who killed 'Emam Hassan' A. I don't know Q. Who killed 'Emam Hussein' A. I don't know Q. Who killed 'Emam Zeinal-Aabedine beemar' A. I thought he died of his illness The interviewer tells the youngster to get out. His friends ask him if he did get the job. He replied: "I don't think they have a job here but it seems that somebody has killed a number of people and they are looking for the murderer. Ahmad A tourist goes to Tehran during Moharram and sees groups of bearded black shirts beating their chests with hands and chains and crying. He asks a passer-by why these guys are doing this to themselves? Passer-by says: "their emam has been killed". Tourist say: "oh I am sorry, when did that happen?". Passer-by says about 1400 years ago. Tourist looked in amazement and say: "why did the news take so long to get here"? Ahmad What do Japanese call Qazvin? TATASHI TOOSHE!!!!!!!! Shahriar Hassan had a chicken which laid an egg every day for him in the barn. One morning he woke up to find the chicken screaming her head off (ghod ghod ghoda). He rushed to the barn and found that a huge egg is stuck up the back passage of the chicken which she can't push out. He ran to the neighbour who suggested to take it to the local mullah who can perform miracles. Mullah takes the chicken and puts his 'ABAA & AMMA'MEH' on top of the chicken and murmurs a verse. After a few seconds the chicken goes quite. When they remove the 'ABAA & AMMA'MEH' they see the egg is out and the chicken is fine. When asked how he performed such amiracle, the mullah replied "this was not actually a miracle, but whoever wears this 'ABBA' & AMMA'MEH' kunew gowa'd miweh. UNKNOWN This rich man in one of the villages of Iran had a donkey which he adored very much. For some reason his donkey became very sad and this bothered the rich man very much. He placed an ad in Kayhan ( National newspaper in Iran) that whoever makes my donkey laugh gets 1000 tomman. People from everywhere show up, but all attempts result in faliure, but just as the rich man was getting disappointed this Turk appears. The Turk goes and says something in donkey's ear and the donkey starts to laugh the rich man was amazed and tells the Turk that he will get an additional 1000 toman if he tells the rich man how he did it. The Turk agrees and says:" I told the donkey that my penis is larger than its". This time the rich man says I'll give you another 1000 if you make my donkey cry. There goes the Turk to the donkey and after couple of seconds the donkey started to cry very hard. This time the rich man tells the Turk that if the Turk tells him what he told the donkey he would grant the Turk all his wealth. The Turk say this time I simply showed the donkey my penis.... Saif Ali An Iranian mother visits her two sons in the U.S. Both sons have Americans wives. When the mother returns to Iran, her relatives ask how she liked her daughter-in-laws. The mother says, well I don't like Hassan's wife because when at bedtime I pass by Hassan's bedroom I hear his wife making all kinds of loud shrieks and noise. But whenever Ali and his wife hear me walking by their bedroom, Ali says "sa'kit" and not a word comes out of their room!!! (What Ali was actually saying was "suck it".) Farshad D. A persian guy goes to the u.s.a immigration office because he wants to come to america. The supervisor tells him that he will give him the visa if he makes a sentence up with the colors yellow,pink,and green. The persian guy says: ok(in a persian accent), "the telephone go greeng, greeng. i pink up the e phone and i say yellooooo." Mirharooni An American woman and an Iranian woman went to grocery shopping and the Iranian woman picked up a huge potato and said, uh it reminds me of my husbands testicles... so the American woman asked that big? the Iranian woman replied ... no that dirty....lol..lol... Tamim E. One guy asks the other, are you Turk? the other one says, yes, but " dalil nemiweh". soheil There was this Persian and he goes to New York. He gets hungry and goes to get a sandwich. He orders his sandwich and the man taking his order asked," would you like that for here or togo." The Persian replies,"martikeh, tuyeh goh nemyxam, tuyeh nun bedeh." Sasan One day the donkey standing in the intersection in New York and it doesn't move they try every thing and suddenly the person from tabriz he said don't worry I take care of it and he goes to the donkey and he say something and the donkey moves and every body they were wonder what happen and they ask him what did you say to the donkey he said I just toll him his shift is over and it is my turn. Zabi A Turke flew to Tabrize from Tehran and when he landed he looked at his watch and said, If I knew it takes only one hour I Could have walked.. Ha Ha Mansour There was a Turk visiting a village in Iran, and all of a sudden, it started to rain. The rain did not stop, and soon, the town became flooded, and the Turk stood in the middle of the street with the water up to his ankles. A fireman approached him and said, "You have to leave now or we'll perish!" And the Turk replies, "I will not leave, for God will save me!" Then the water was up to his waste, and a fisherman rowed by. He said, "The rain wont stop, climb aboard, so you'll be safe!" and the Turk replied, "Never, for God will be my salvation!". Finally, the water level rose so much, that he was forced to sit atop a roof of a house. A helicopter sped by and the pilot said, "Climb inside, or you'll drown!" and the Turk replied, "I will not, for I will be saved by God!". And so the water continues to rise and the Turk drowns. He is taken to heaven to meet God. His first question is, "My Lord, why did you not save me?" And God replied, "I tried THREE times! I sent a fireman, a fisherman, and a helicopter!" Siyavash Why do Persians seem so cheap? Because they can afford to be. Geoff Rashti's wife was cheating on him everyday. Everyday there was a big line of guys at their house for being with his wife. His friend asks him;Aoo why dont you divorce your wife? Rashtj says: Aoo, if I divorce her, I should stand at the end of the line again. Asghar How can you tell when an Iraqi woman is on the rag? She's only wearing one sock. Vahid E. What did the the Iraqi do when he found a grain of rice? A:he opened a supermarket. Francis Elphic Said one Persian cannibal to another while eating an accountant, "You know it's time to buy a new camel when your date Shiva falls off the second hump every time you make a left turn." Sarah Says one Persian cannibal to his friend Shiva while eating a clown, "Does this taste funny to you?" Sarah An airliner crashes on a deserted island. The survivors are an Iranian, an Arab and an Indian. At the search for something eatable they have to cross a river. The Iranian, very brave, jumps in. At the same time a crocodile slips into the water from the other side of the river. He reaches the Iranian at the middle of the river and eats him up. He comes to the other side and waves at the Arab to jump in. Trustfully he jumps in and starts swimming. The crocodile approaches and in one bite eats him up. He comes back and calls the Indian. The Indian wouldn't want to jump but the crocodile promises not to eat him. So he gets on the back of the crocodile and he carries him all the way long to the other side of the river. He gets down and thanks the crocodile and says: - "a'ga'ye grogodhil, cera' ma' ra' nagorda'hi?" The crocodile replies: "a'xe dafeye a'xari ke yeki az woma'ha' ro xordam ta' ye hafte k*nam misuxt". Ali An Iranian guy who had just come from Iran was asked: "What was your occupation in Iran?" The guy who used to work for "sa'zma'ne a'ma'r va sabte ahva'l" answered: "I vorkd for anstitut of estatistik and registeration of -Hov are you?-" Afshin Zafar puts an old bull up for sale. astxar approaches and asks: "How much?" Zafar: "Are you a Hendi reject too?" astxar: "No, why do you ask?" Zafar: "I don't want him to end up as a steak." astxar: "Oh no, don't worry, I want him as a house pet." Zafar: "You're going to keep him in the house? What about the smell and all the shit?" astxar: "Oh well, the bull will just have to get used to it!" Afshin An Iraqi POW manages to escape from Iran. He goes back home where his friends ask him about the prisons in Iran. He says: "These Iranians are real bastards. In prison they either f*ck you or they kill you." He thinks a few seconds and says: "Well, they KILLED me of course." Afshin An Abadanian Khoros had a fight with a Mahali Khoros.In no time the Mahali Khoros jumped on the Abadainan Khoros and beat him up so bad, all his feather were on the floor.All the other Abadanian Khoros pulled the Gholo aside and asked him "Volek ce wod?" Gholo Said " Volek Velom Konid, Tazeh Loxt wodom" Ali TOP TEN THINGS YOU'D RATHER NOT HEAR FROM AN IRAN AIR COCKPIT 10. "Are we in there yet?" 9. "This plane is insured by Hazrat e Abass." 8. "This is my first flight, I just graduated from Hezbollah flight school." 7. "Hey, do you remember how we got to Israel the last time?" 6. "Fasten your seat belts, we will be back as soon as our Namaz is over." 5. "Flight school is for donkeys!" 4. "Wow, we're sure a lot lighter now that we dropped that second American engine!" 3. "Only 500 more flight hours, and I'll get my license." 2. "Ummm, wonder what happens if I pull this?" 1. "TODAY WE ALL DIE FOR ALLAH!" Afshin They asked a person from Tehran "How long did it take to build Shahyad ? Tehrani: Well it took us about one year They asked a person from Isfehan "How long did it take to build Sy-o-Sepol? Isfehani: Well it tooke us one year and half They asked a Gholo from Abadan "How long did it take to build the Palayeshgah? Gholo took away his Rayban and said: WoW, Volek this morning this wasn't here Afshin Gholo had a fight with a big guy.The man lifted the Gholo up in the air and he was gonna throw him on the floor.People were all watching the fight. Gholo looked at the crowd and asked "Volek kho Shoma Migin Chekaresh Konom" Afshin
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