A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner.
He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes,corn,
and two large meaty objects.
"What's this?" he asks.
"Cojones, senor," the waiter replies.
"What are cojones?" the man asks.
"Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who
lost at the arena this afternoon."
At first the man is disgusted but being the adventurous type, he
decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite
delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back
again the next night and order it again.This time, the waiterbrings out
the plate, but the meaty objects are much smaller.
"What's this?"
he asks the waiter. "Cojones, senor," the waiter replies.
"No, no," the man objects. "I had cojones yesterday and they were much
bigger than these."
"Senor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every time."
Sent By:
Luis
what's the difference between romantic sex and kinky sex?
Romantic sex you use the feathers, kinky sex, you use the whole chicken.
Sent By:
AIi Reza
The masked robber runs into the bank and yells at the teller lady:
"This is robbery, open safe and drawers now, now" he screams.
The lady behind the counter looks at him and calmly says:
"Well, excuse me, but this is sperm bank"
"I don't care, open that safe now" he replies still yelling at her.
So she opens that safe and there is nothing but samples with sperm.
He looks at the bottles and shouts:
"Drink that bottle now, now"
She looks at him and says:
"I'm sorry I can't do that, this is disgusting"
"Do it, do it now" he shouts, pointing the gun at her.
So she drinks full bottle.
He shouts again:
"Drink another one now"
So she does again.
Now he pulls his ski mask off and she sees her husband.
Confused woman asks:
"Jimmy, what are you doing?"
Now, he calmly replies:
"So, it wasn't so hard, was it?"
Sent By:
Darcio
what has wings and sucks blood?
ALWAYS ULTRA
Sent By:
DR.O
Why doesn't a witch wear any panties?
It's so she can get a better hold on her broomstick!
Sent By:
Yak Man
Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next
to the urinal. The guy has no arms.
As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself
how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.
Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out.
Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you."
The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?"
Bob says, "OK."
Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?"
Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK." Bob pulls it out and it has all
kinds of mold
and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars,
and reeks something awful.
Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him.
The guy takes his leek.
Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.
The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
Bob says, "No problem, but what the heck's wrong with your penis?"
The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't
know,but I ain't touching it."
Sent By:
sosa
A man went to a plastic surgeon to get work done on his penis. The
doctor, curious, asked what had happened to it. "Well," the patient
said, "I live in a trailer camp. A gorgeous buxom creature lives in
the trailer next to mine.
I used to peek into her trailer and I saw that she had a habit. Each
afternoon she would take a hot dog from her refrigerator and put it
in a hole on her trailer floor. Then she'd sit on it and have a ball.
She nearly drove me crazy.
So I got a bright idea. One day I got under her trailer and when she
slid the hot dog in the hole, I slid it out and slipped my penis up
through the hole. She sat down on it and everything was going just
great until there was a knock at the door."
"And then?" said the doctor. "Aw hell," the patient explained,
"That's when she tried to kick it under the stove."
Sent By:
Kourosh
Once A Kid goes to the shower with his dad and see's his dads keer and asks him: "Daddy When can i have one of those?" The Dad tells Him: " As Soon As Your Mom Leaves."
Sent By:
KambiZ
This old couple, in the late 70's to early 80's went to the doctor's office for the husband's yearly check-up. The doctor said that he needed 3 specimens from the husband to complete the check up and directed him to the changing room. The man looked at his wife and asked her to repeat what the doctor said, as he was hard of hearing. She said "The doctor needs a urine, stool, and sperm sample from you." The old man said "WHAT SPEAK UP, WHAT DID HE SAY?" The wife said "HE NEEDS TO SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR!"
Sent By:
COOKIE W.
I masturbate so much i get the flag that say's BANG instead of cum.
Sent By:
Mike Heck
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, whois
also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu."I'm
sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a
dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from
there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and
picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table andhands
it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in adeep
breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashedpotatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the
kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells herwhat
had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several
days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly bringshim
a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I
didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blindman.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great,
I'll take the Macaroni and chesse with broccoli." Once againwalking
away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwingaround
with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comesin
he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him
coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this
fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Marycomplies
and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and
sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir,this
time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff andsays,
"Hey! I didn't know that Mary worked here!"
Sent By:
Pablo
How do you find out that you are gay?
If you get horneeeee while you are shittin´.
Sent By:
Ussa Amir
There were three prostitutes living together: a mother, daughter and
grandmother. One night the daughter came home looking very down.
"How did you do tonight, dear?" asked her mother.
"Not too good." replied the daughter, "I only got 20 dollars for a
blow job"
"Wow!" said the mother, "In my day we gave a blow job for 5 dollars!"
"Good God!" said the Grandmother, "In my day we were just glad to get
something warm in our stomachs!"
Sent By:
Jo Mama
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